hell yes lets make some ravioli
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
