Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize