Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
