i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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