Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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