wakey wakey hands off snakey
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.