Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
