in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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