Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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