They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize