pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?