it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?