I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.