We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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