u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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