Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.