I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror