Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
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I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad