did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.