Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
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Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
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I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?