SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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