The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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