He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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