My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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