my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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