I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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