I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
