Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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