Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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