I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century