yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?