You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.