I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though