Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize