Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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