She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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