I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
