as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
