when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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