he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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