kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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