i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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