Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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