Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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