You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
