Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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