just come out here and I will go home with you...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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