I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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