Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize