I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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