my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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