I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
where are my eyebrows?
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