He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize