my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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