My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My dick has a subreddit
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
