It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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This beer is not sobering me up at all
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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