cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize