Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time