"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.