Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
